


Leave (Please)

by Idjit_01



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Castiel Worries About Dean Winchester, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Needs Help, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Interrupting Sam Winchester, Mental Health Issues, No Slash, POV Dean Winchester, Quote: No chick-flick moments. (Supernatural), The Impala (Supernatural), not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25042003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idjit_01/pseuds/Idjit_01
Summary: "You were sick." Cas continued, as if he hadn't talked at all. Dean cursed under his breath. "But you don't have a fever. Your body doesn't seem to be in distress, so it's not a gastrointestinal issue. You haven't drunk enough to trigger such a response and you haven't been in contact with any creature that could provoke these kinds of lingering effects."Basically, Cas confronts Dean on a bad habit of his.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Leave (Please)

"You were sick."

Dean closed his eyes and groaned with every bit of him he could, forcing his whole body to vibrate with frustration.

"We should check on Sam. I'm pretty sure he was looking into those occurrences in Wyoming and those cattle deaths where screaming supernatural. He could probably use some back up."

"You were sick." Cas continued, as if he hadn't talked at all. Dean cursed under his breath. "But you don't have a fever. Your body doesn't seem to be in distress, so it's not a gastrointestinal issue. You haven't drunk enough to trigger such a response and you haven't been in contact with any creature that could provoke these kinds of lingering effects."

"Just... Forget it. I'm fine now, see?" Dean framed his body with his hands. "Perfectly fine. Move on. We have a case to get onto."

"Nothing traumatic has happened in the last few months. No one close to you died or got hurt badly. That only leaves throwing up on purpose." Cas gasped.

"Aren't you needed in heaven or something?"

At that, Cas threw him a death glare. Dean should know by now there were limits that shouldn't be crossed. He knew Cas wasn't welcome in heaven anymore. 

"Dean."

"Leave. I don't want you here. I... I don't n-need you."

"Dean. Were you throwing up in purpose?"

Dean just sat on the bad and finished packing his duffel bag. It was normal. Everyone threw up every once in a while. And if it was on purpose, what's with it? It wasn't Cas's business. Or anyone else's for that matter. Couldn't he have something, _anything_ , that was only his? Not Sammy's, not his father's, not for any monster or hunter to take part in. Couldn't he, for once, have the right for his own little bubble to go away to when he wasn't dealing with everyone else's problems?

"You always leave." Dean whispered, anger contained, though his voice was noticeably unsteady. "Why won't you leave? Why won't you leave me alone? Let it be?"

"Dean..."

"Why don't you follow the damn pattern?" Dean's voice rose, anger flaring out of his control. Standing up, legs trembling. Body trembling. "I told you to leave. Go away" He finished, growling.

"Eating disorders are a very serious mental illnesses-"

"I'm not a chick."

"-that affect people of all genders, ages, races, social classes and living situations-" 

Cas brought up his left hand, taking Dean's fist in his own; holding the punch he was about to direct to him, circling his thumb over his knuckles soothingly.

"-that usually manifest themselves as a way to cope or deal with ones emotions. As a person who's constantly stressed out-"

" 'M not."

"-and refuses to talk about it. Hm.." Cas feigned to think, searching Dean's eyes and forcing him to keep looking at his. "No "chick flick" moments-" Cas emphasised, gesturing with his fingers, "-as you'd usually say to avoid them as if it was some kind of safeword that allows your way out of any uncomfortable situation and knowing your history with self-hatred it wouldn't be surprising for you to pick up on a habit or two to cope with everything that happens to you."

"Well, then." Dean said harshly, firmly. Relieved of finding a way out of the conversations. "You said it. It's perfectly normal. Just a "habit to cope." Like everyone does. Nothing to worry about." He walked out of the motel room, duffel bag over his shoulder, itching to get into his baby and put the music as loud as possible to drown any evidence the conversation had happened from his mind and body. Expecting Cas to disappear again and leave it be, hopefully not mentioning it ever again. 

Cas followed him into the car, taking the keys from the car before Dean could run away. The conversation wasn't over.

When Dean noticed Cas had not only followed him, but also taken his keys with no indication of leaving him be, he mustered all the strength he could gather and turned to face him, irritated.

"Look, it's not as if it was a disorder. I don't even do it so often. Just every now and then, to take the edge off. I'm fine. Not a health nut like Sam, still eating whatever I want. I know you've seen my meals, I'm in no way starving myself or whatever. Perfectly fine to fight, aren't I?" He laughed dryly. "Perfectly fine to drive."

Cas only raised his brow and tilted his face to the right in response, squinting with his eyes.

"Give me my keys. The sooner we get to Sam, the less chances someone gets hurt because he didn't have any back up."

Cas didn't budge. Tilted his head imperceptibly deeper to the right and furrowed his brows.

Dean sighed, preparing himself to try to take them back himself.

"Dean, you're trembling." Cas finally spoke, voice low. "You're hurting yourself."

"Oh." Dean said, looking down at himself. "No, it's fine. That just happens sometimes." Slowly, so Cas could follow the movement, he reached for the bag in the back seat and took a Gatorade out of it. He drank it slowly, steadily, until he had finished it and his body was limp again. "See? All okay now." 

Cas seemed to want to say something back, but his phone chimed with a text message from Sam. He made a mental note to buy him those fancy organic energy bars he had been wanting to try for a while as a thanks for stopping Cas from replying and making things more complicated than they needed to be. He took the keys from Cas's grip, which had hesitantly dropped as he read Sam's request for help and started the car. 

Dialing the radio as loud as it could go, Dean relaxed into the seat, pretending not having heared Cas's broken plead —Will you _stop_ ?— before sighing and disappearing with an exhasperated flutter of wings.

Hoping he wouldn't bring it up with Sam, Dean sang along to _Eye of the tiger_ as he tried to empty his mind from Cas's words.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I try not to glorify eating disorders. If you suffer from one, please get help. Please know you aren't alone in it.
> 
> I think it turned out okay. I hope you like it. As always, feedback is deeply appreciated.
> 
> Take care~


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